Learning to Say No

I won’t lie, in one way, I have talked about this topic before, however, this post is a different kind of learning curve. In earlier post – especially when I’ve talked about traveling as a woman and traveling alone – I talked about how important it is to say no. This could be saying no to people who want to join your adventure; people who think you shouldn’t travel alone; even saying no to things that make you truly uncomfortable (but I still suggest pushing your limits); knowing when you need to say no, despite all the Yes Men out there say.

Now, years older and in a very different life situation, I am balancing real live (verses school responsibilities of a few years ago), wanting to travel, and wanting to go see my soon-to-be husband. What I have learned – and again, my situation is specific for my situation – is that when making plans, I can’t be guilty or afraid to take a little time out for myself and say no to taking on extra hours because I could reasonably be somewhere else or doing something else instead of being at work.

I am a teacher and I take that responsibility seriously – in fact, in some ways, I seem to take it more seriously than many others in my acquaintances. I have had coworkers that have taken weeks off for a family members wedding (no, they weren’t involved in the wedding, although it turned out that they actually did a mini-vacation with a two-day wedding trip wrapped into it).

I, on the other hand, get a guilty knot thinking about the 2 to 4 days I may need to take off when Ryan is in town; then there is potential time next year when I want to go to Germany for Christmas next year and then North Carolina with him for another wedding. None of these are extended amounts of time, but I still feel guilty not being their for my hours, plus having to say no to helping fill in for others as a substitute.

Again, I am not saying this to point out my work ethic – I have serious work and financial reasons that I work like this – But my point is, no matter what your work is, most of us need to learn to say no. No, I don’t need to take all that extra work; no, I shouldn’t bail on my vacation time; no, I don’t need to feel guilty that I am not able to respond every time I am called.

I have been trying to balance life and money and travel for a long time. I also thought I knew how to say no, but I will always admit that I am a work in progress.

This is Leave on the Wind, helping you soar.

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Learning to Say No

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